Cut the cord…

 

I had something on my mind this morning, and it’s a very sore subject for me.  Mostly because how I think is not shared or understood by the people who are guilty of treating me this way.

I fully believe that you should love people as Jesus tells us too.  And I believe that you should forgive, and not carry grudges.

But I do NOT believe that I should allow things in my life that only make me feel badly about myself.  I had been praying and talking to God for a long time about feeling better about myself… to help me have a better perception of myself.  And when I was around Godly people I never thought badly about myself.  But then when I went around the people who knew me as “family” they never changed any behavior towards me that hurt me.  In my family I was always the black sheep.  I never really fit in.  And I fought so hard for so long just to have a relationship with them, but then my eyes were opened.  Why in the world was I fighting for that?? I know that they say that family is something that will always be there for you, but my friend, family is more to me than just blood.  I have brothers and sisters that I didn’t grow up with.  I have people watching out for me and pouring encouragement into my life!  And did you know, when I decided to “Date God” and live my life for Christ the only family that supported me was not blood-related.

So I’m going to say that if your blood related family has only hurt you or brought you down, then maybe its time to let God teach you about His family.

I still very much love my family.  I have been working on forgiving them.  But that does not mean I have to have a relationship with them.  For years of me always sacrificing and going to do what they wanted I’ve had enough now. 

I want to be a good sister, but I’ve decided to be a good sister to those who God has placed in my life from His family.  Those are the ones who don’t treat family like a dumping place for all your bad life issues.. instead its a place of encouragement, strength, love, and teaching.

I’m sure my family disagrees with me.  They’ve never seen things from my point of view, instead I’ve always had an expectation over my head to do things for the “family” that have definitely worn me out. 

How do you know when you need to do this?  Well, when you leave a get together feeling pretty horrible about your life because everyone likes to make you feel like your lacking maybe it’s time.  Or when you pray the whole way TO the get together that you will be strong.. maybe its time.

I’m not saying to stop loving them.  I’m not saying to not forgive them.  But I am saying you don’t have to give them all of yourself out of guilt.  It’s time to cut the cord, and build healthy boundaries, not walls, boundaries.  To protect your heart..

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Psalm 4:23nlt