God-Esteem

Written on February 15, 2010

So I had something on my mind and I'd like to share it with you!

For a long time I was insecure about my looks, and hated myself. I was always jealous of my sisters and felt like who I was wasn't enough. Well, God brought me to a place in my life where I had a mirror in front of me and I was forced to see who I was. He has shown me that even though there are things I didn't like about myself, He Himself had created me. And I was created this way for a reason. Yes I can be insecure sometimes. There are things I wish I could change, and still things I do change. But ultimately I have to trust that God knew what He was doing when He created me. I have to trust He did it for a reason, and accept that it was for my good. All those things about myself that bother me, my height, my hair color, even my shoe size... things I wish I could change but can't (even though I can dye my hair, that doesn't actually change the color) are things that He chose especially for me, to make me who I am. He designed me not to look like Britney Spears or Beyonce, or any other person, but to look like Jocelynn. Because that's who I am. He loves me and when He looks at me He doesn't say, boy your butt has gotten big, or geez what's with the bad hair day, don't you own a brush? No. God looks at me as a job well done and is happy with His work.

God gives us proof that He loves us completely through and through:
And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good (suitable, pleasant) and He approved it completely. And there was evening and there was morning, a sixth day.  Genesis 1:31

He knows what you're thinking even before you think it. 
For the Lord searches all hearts and minds and understands all the wanderings of the thoughts.  1 Chronicles 28:9

O LORD, you have searched me [thoroughly] and have known me.
You know my downsitting and my uprising; You understand my thought afar off.
You sift and search out my path and my lying down, and You are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word in my tongue [still unuttered], but, behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. Psalm 139:1-4

So if He knows us thoroughly, then I have no doubt that He also knows our insecurities. And He is the giver of our security.
He makes my feet like the hinds' [firm and able]; He sets me secure and confident upon the heights.  2 Samuel 22:34

So I think I can also be confident that when He is on my side and I look to Him, I can be at peace with who I am. And know that I have a strong interceptor.
What then shall we say to [all] this? If God is for us, who [can be] against us? [Who can be our foe, if God is on our side?]  Romans 8:31
Who shall bring any charge against God's elect [when it is] God Who justifies [that is, Who puts us in right relation to Himself? Who shall come forward and accuse or impeach those whom God has chosen? Will God, Who acquits us? ]Romans 8:33

So what do I say to those who try to pull me down? Honestly, when I think about it, they did not create me so they do not know my purpose, and they cannot break me.
For You girded me with strength for the battle; those who rose up against me You subdued under me.  2 Samuel 22:40

There will be times when I will have to stand up for myself, and trust that who I am is enough. But God doesn't just equip us, He also goes before us to fight for us when we have no strength left in us.
For the Lord your God is He Who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to save you.  Deuteronomy 20:4

And I would never be foolish enough to believe that I could ever go forward into anything alone. He is my strength. I rest in His Word alone. 
[God] is wise in heart and mighty in strength; who has [ever] hardened himself against Him and prospered or even been safe?  Job 9:4

The point is to trust Him. He knows what He is doing. You are who you are for a reason. Whether you like it or not is not the point. To Him you are His beautiful creation. And God doesn't make junk. So buck up! Look to the sky and trust your Father. He loves you for who you are. You don't need to change a thing to get His approval. He's just waiting for you to realize that His approval is all that matters.

13For You did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother's womb.
14I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well.
15My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret [and] intricately and curiously wrought [as if embroidered with various colors] in the depths of the earth [a region of darkness and mystery].
16Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them.
17How precious and weighty also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!(E)
18If I could count them, they would be more in number than the sand. When I awoke, [could I count to the end] I would still be with You.