Suffering in Silence

Ok.  I'm about to write about something that I know will push some buttons.  But I can't help myself.  This has been a frustration of mine for years. 

Why is it that we only support and care for those whose problems are known?  What about those that keep things to them self?  I know we aren't mind readers, but do you really think that those who keep quiet are ok?  The obvious are the ones who get the attention.  The new mothers get meals made for them, someone who's just lost a love one, or maybe that person who needs constant attention.

Don't misunderstand me, these people should get help in those times. But what about people like me?  I'm not complaining, but it makes me feel so invisible sometimes to watch others get support, and my phone doesn't ring. No one comes to my house, helps me clean, or cooks me a meal so I don't have to.  It hurts me. Its almost like they don't care or I don't matter.  I wonder if people are blind to people like me.  No I'm not living in a gutter.  But I've been a single parent for almost 13 years and I can count on one hand how many people I've had reach out to me in ways other than taking my phone call.  That's pretty sad.  Last night I posted a blog about looking beyond your own destination.  I think that really is the reason I've felt so excluded.. like I'm that person who lives down a long dirt road with no lamp post so no one dares to walk down the path to knock on the door... like there might be werewolves or bears and stuff in the woods ready to attack anyone who tries.  I know that's a little dramatic, but really think about it.  Has there ever been a time when you saw someone leading what seems a difficult life, and since they aren't threatening to kill them self, or showing any other obvious sign of problems, you figure they must be fine?  Well, they probably are. Me, I'm surviving.  It might take me a couple of days to do a sink full of dishes, but they get done.  Maybe I eat cereal for dinner a couple nights in a row, but it's fine by me.. I love cereal.  And don't think I'm doing this because I want attention.. in fact, I'd probably be insulted if this is why I get anyone to pay attention. At this point any help given will feel like its from guilt. And I don't want that kind of help.

No.  I'm here to fight for the others who suffer in silence.  The ones who aren't so dramatic.  They sit on the sidelines and out of the spotlight.  They help out without complaining, but never get recognized.  You know what my least favorite thing about some people's mindsets?  They only speak up when there's a problem.  You know what that says to me?  That you can assume everything's fine and they don't plan on encouraging you, but when you mess up you can be sure they will be right there pointing the finger.  I HATE THAT.

I said before that sometimes even when you aren't told you're ugly or stupid the ABSENCE of being told your beautiful or smart can cause you to think you are, in fact, ugly or stupid.  Did you know that a lie can become truth without real truth?  That's why we need God so much.  He will tell us over and over how much He loves us, and what we mean to Him.  He reminds us in every moment of every day. 
It's just frustrating when the people around you, who are supposed to care about you, don't say what needs to be said to chase away lies.  It NEEDS to be said.  SAY those things in your heart. DO those things you want to do. FOR EVERYONE. Not just the obvious need, but that girl that sits in silence by herself in the back row and leaves first.  Catch her, offer to buy her a coffee.. get her number, CALL HER, tell her your thinking about her and praying for her and then PRAY FOR HER.

I'm not asking you to save the world.  There are 7 Billion people that could be helping each other, and the statistics on those that actually help is too sad to mention.  Remember the story of the little girl throwing the starfish back into the ocean that had washed up on shore?  There were thousands along the beach.  That one girl made a difference to the ones she could reach, but there were still so many more... I imagine she was helping the ones that were immediately in front of her.. so the ones that were trapped under things or covered in sand (the less obvious ones) didn't have much of a chance.  I know it's asking a lot.  But if you think about it, you probably have a moment in your life when you felt like you were on the outside looking in and wished someone had noticed you.  I challenge you to find that person.  Help the less obvious.  You may not think so, but it will change that persons thoughts, and help them trust that people aren't hopeless.  Sometimes us less obvious people need to see that.