The log in my eye.

 

Ok, I admit it.  I just spent a very long time trying to find a scripture verse to fit an agenda of mine. 

I know. What a terrible Christian I am.  How horrible. 

So you wanna know what I found?  Exactly what I didn’t want to find.

What was I looking for? I was looking for a scripture that said something about if you wanted a good relationship you needed to invest in it.  I found a scripture in Matthew (6:21) that said where your treasure is there your heart is also.. but that was about money, not people.  A friend then pointed out another scripture…Galatians 6:2 “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”  And that scripture made me think, no, I don’t want to bear a burden, I want to make someone feel bad for how they treated me…

Before you start to judge me let me tell you my side of the story, and then I’ll tell you what God did to put me back in my place. MMMk?

Ok, so years ago I started going to Church.  And in doing so I started to learn a new way of life.  A way I was not used to.  I watched families go to Church together and worship God together.  I watched them volunteer together, help out with Church picnic’s, and potlucks… they invited me to everything from dinners to weddings and baby showers.. They pitched in and helped each other.. where help was needed someone was there to pick up the slack.. it was wonderful.

So I started using these things as a measure when I’d see my family, and I began to realize they didn’t measure up.  They fell short in many areas, so I started to lose the desire to be a part of anything they did.  I sought out time with my Church.  I soaked up all the knowledge of the people around me, and put myself into any ministry I could.

I look back now and I see that I needed to do that.  I needed what it gave me.  But now I see what I did to myself in the process… I put impossible standards on people who just needed the same mercy, forgiveness and grace I was seeking.

I had this emotional storehouse filled up with all the crap that I didn’t like.  Every bad name I was called, every mean word, every time I was made fun of.. every missed birthday, every neglectful action.. I was building up a nice and full storehouse.. full of ammunition. 

I had locked and loaded plenty of things to throw in the faces of those that I had decided were my enemy.  And why were they my enemy? Because I didn’t like how they treated me.  I didn’t like how they ignored me and ridiculed me.  Every time I was around them I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from losing my cool, but as the years rolled on it got harder. Or actually.. it got easier.. easier to say what I was thinking.. the mean things they made me feel like saying back.  Yep, I was acting and speaking in a way that always made me feel horrible about myself.  And for a long time I blamed them.  But I can’t blame them for my actions or my words.  I am able to control myself, and if I were to be honest then I’d say I was choosing to not (control myself).

Guess who else had to deal with those kinds of things?  People had treated Him badly.  They ignored and ridiculed Him.  Every time they were around Him He was faced with mean words.  They mocked Him, threw stones at Him, tried to kill Him, and eventually did.  They lied about Him, and did what they could to trash His reputation.

How did He react?

“For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps.

He never sinned,

nor ever deceived anyone.

He did not retaliate when he was insulted,

nor threaten revenge when he suffered.

He left his case in the hands of God,

who always judges fairly.” 1 Peter 2:21-23

If you don’t know who this is referring to, well I’ll tell you! It’s Jesus.  Jesus suffered a lot of crap that He didn’t deserve.  And He never lost His temper.  Never lashed out or said the wrong thing.  He never was ignorant, and didn’t treat anyone the way they had treated Him.

Instead He said, “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.” Matthew 7:12

The Bible calls that “The Golden Rule” And His life reflected this very thing.  His example was always consistent in His reactions. And He didn’t do all this from afar.  He didn’t lock Himself in a room full of the only people He could stand.. no, He went out into those places full of the people who treated Him unfairly.  He took everything they gave and kept coming back.  He didn’t put up walls, and never cut them off.  Anyone who wanted to be a part of His life was welcomed, with no judgment or condemnation.  He offered a guilt-free friendship with a renewable and constant love.

And what have I taken from this lesson?  Only this….

“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” Matthew 7:3-5

I’ve learned that I’ve become exactly what I couldn’t stand about the ones that I avoided… and how does that help anything? 

If I were to look at how I’ve reacted over the years at the people I’ve wanted better treatment from, well then I’m not too surprised at how they are treating me.  I’m impatient with them, I don’t use self-control, and I am not very considerate.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not a reason to become a doormat.  But it does mean I need to be more aware of how I treat others. 

And I’m definitely going to need to change.  OH that word.  Yeah. And I’ll keep you posted on how that goes.