Thursday, November 8, 2012

The good, the bad, and the ugly....

It's been quite the eye-opening couple of weeks for me.  I never imagined I'd think the things I do lately.  But it's a constant thing nowadays..

We take life for granted, don't we?  That's really not a surprise for most of us - and sometimes we do things in the same time frame of realizing we are taking life for granted.  Why do we do that?? Why not live differently?

My excuse? I blame the world we live in.  Almost as if the world can control my actions. Crappy excuse, I know.  You don't have to tell me that.  So what would I change about how I live my life if I could only stop caring about my surrounding distractions?? I'd stop feeling like I'm missing out if I don't have a fancy up-to-date electronic display in my living room.  Why should I care about my lack of flat screens or blu-ray players?  And YES, I still have a VHS that I USE.  Do those things really make anyone any happier? Or a life any better?  I highly doubt it.  My lack of possessions really shouldn't have an effect on my attitude towards life.

It's funny how all it takes is a walk or a hike outside to bring me back to reality.  Or discovering how I was planned on before I even came to be!  Yes, I believe this, and it's no secret that I believe in a God who, I believe,  is the One who created me.  Every time I think about God it just brings this sense of worth that nothing else could ever bring for me.  He quiets my crazy fears, and grounds my anxieties. He makes me feel pulled together, and confident.  For a girl that has always felt like everything falls apart and brings stress that's huge.

God has completely changed me from the inside out.  He's changed not only the way I think, but the way I act too.  And the best part?  It was never forced by Him.  I was called gently to Him. At times He can be strict, yes, but what Father who truly loves their child and doesn't want them making horrible decisions that could kill them or worse, wouldn't discipline their child?  Real love needs to show discipline- the right way.  I've never felt pressured to be or do anything by Him.  Any pressure I've felt has only been from myself.  Any stress was totally self-inflicted.  And whenever I would start to be extra hard on myself for something God would take that opportunity to help remind me of His ways, and His word, and what it says to me about who I am.  In His awesome way I've been remade. 

I know there are those that believe He's this big bad monster up on mount doom just waiting to smite us with His "mighty smiting pen" hehe.. ;) I know an old friend who would laugh at that... 

Almost like He's this crazy, controlling sycophant standing by and watching as all the bad things happen to us.  Like He's this God who "let's things happen for a reason".  And if you believe that I'm not saying your wrong, I'm just saying in my experience I have a hard time believing that. The reason I feel this way isn't simple, but I do think I have valid reasons.  And life is one of them.  Another big one is consequence. 

If you're still with me, let me explain my thoughts.  We all have the  freedom to choose, right?  We can't blame God when we choose to do something that has negative effects, and yet, I think we do. 
Both life and consequence share our current reality.  From the beginning of time there have been humans choosing and acting according to their choices.  Whatever the motive, their has always been a consequence, whether good or bad. You with me so far?  Ok.  So, imagine in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve were surrounded by this amazing lush land with every good thing they could imagine, then they are presented with a choice.  To eat from a tree that was forbidden.  God did not force them to not eat it, nor did the snake force them TO eat it.  They exercised something that was given to them: the right to choose.  And the consequence was obviously bad.  From that day on it was just a snow ball rolling down a hill.  Things kept getting worse, and worse.  Effecting lives of people, and animals.. it effected landscape, and weather.  EVERYTHING was effected eventually.  Fast forward to now you'll see we are living with an ancient consequence that is now so humongous there's no escaping it.

Thoughts?  Do I seem crazy?? Well.  Guess what?  I'm not done.  But this is a lot more than I intended to say, and since I really want to make a valid argument this will, again, be continued.. and I'm sorry, but I'm afraid this will never be concluded. Not as long as I have breath.

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