"I was born this way, this is who I am. Accept it."
That's kind of the mantra of the people nowadays. And on one side there's those extreme Christians who say you're going to hell if you give in to that kind of thinking, and on the other side there's those people who fight to allow people their freedom to be whoever they want to be.
Forcing acceptance on both sides, but neither get it, do they? Those two sides are still fighting about who's right and who's wrong. And it's all just arguments about lifestyle choices. And not just by extreme Christians. There are many people from many backgrounds fighting to tell others what's right and what's wrong.
Sometimes I think back to my school yearbook. There was that coveted section with all the ways certain people stood out.
Most popular.. .Best dressed... Cutest couple... Most likely to be a millionaire... Class Clown...
I never made any of these lists. I sort of stayed invisible. Below the radar. And sometimes I have a mental movie of all the changes I could have made to make things better for myself, if it were possible to go back. I'd be the one everyone wanted to be friends with! Best dressed?? No contest! I definitely wouldn't be the chubby tomboy who wore her fathers jeans and never showered. Ugh.. I cringe when I think about those days. Nowadays if you wanted to act that way the motto is acceptance. Accept me for who I am because I was born this way.
Um, ew, NO. I highly doubt I was born to be like I was. No. Society shaped me because no one else was. I had no idea who I was! All I knew was what was around me. But not fitting in any molds was extremely unsettling. I tried to be many things and failed. And when I failed at everything I tried to be I was finding myself depressed by this need of mine. Needing for others to like me was proving to be a pain because I just didn't fit the standards others were setting.
Have you ever found yourself caught between worlds? What I mean is, not fitting in with any of the crowds out there? Ahhh.. the outcasts. Those no one else accepts. The ones they look down on for not fitting in.
I was that person who did their best to fit in, but found myself not agreeing with the people that surrounded me. I was so desperate to not be an outcast that I just couldn't speak out about my internal struggle. I conformed. I made myself walk like a sheep and talk like a sheep. That's how I survived.
But now? Somethings going on. Those conforming tendencies are starting to feel shaken.
I don't think like most people. And I still have a hard time fitting in. I have deep convictions of how life should be lived, and constantly find myself up against people who just don't think the same.
I started reading the book, "Secrets of the Vine" because I was looking to grow my ministry. I have the desire to be more effective, and that's why I teamed that book up with "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People". What I didn't expect was that these books were hitting deeper parts of my heart than just my desire to grow a ministry and my desire to be more effective. They were hitting roots of things that I just didn't want to deal with. Habits that I let creep back in, and gave excuses for? Those were thrown into the spotlight. Mindsets that were debilitating and constantly had me doubting myself? Those were also thrown into the spotlight.
The reason I started reading the books is no longer the reason I keep reading the books. I headed into this thinking I could learn how to change people, but instead I'm being taught how to change myself.
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