Moldy Basements

Since I've begun the destruction of the bathroom I've seen some nasty stuff.  In the last post I said I was working on a list, to make right what I've done wrong.  The one I'm working on right now is #1: left my parents house to get away from them.

Awful, isn't it?  I didn't move out because I got married.  I didn't move out because I went to college.  I didn't even move out because I was ready for it.  Nope.  I moved out because I just couldn't live there.

There was too much drama and unsettled issues.  I just wanted to leave them behind and not have to deal with them.

But do you know what ended up happening?  I soon realized that my underlying issues with my parents had severely stunted my ability to make new, lasting relationships.  I found myself doing  the same thing over and over again... even recently.  So it makes sense that God would want me back home.  He wants me to fix it.

Next time I leave, it has to be the right way.  But until then I have to change.

Today I was finishing up ripping out the floor.  What I found was boards full of mildew.  They literally crumbled in my hands.  And that's when I realized.. the only way to get rid of mold and mildew is to remove it.. so the only way to get rid of the issues with my parents is the same... get rid of my parents?? No silly, I don't mean remove them! I mean remove the issues!! How exactly?  Well the same way God removed the issues between us... FORGIVENESS.  In case you were wondering, Jesus didn't just die to forgive the sinner.. He died so that the sinner can be forgiven so that he too could forgive!  Need proof?

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." Ephesians 4:31-32nlt

Ephesians 4:17 begins with a description on how to be "Children of the Light".  Because God is Light we know that this also means "Children of God".  It's a description on how to be a child of God.  And it ends with this scripture of forgiving one another.  God wants us to see that when we live as His children things will be a lot less messy.  But He also gives a warning.. if we decide to not forgive others this is from the mouth of Jesus, Himself:

"If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:14-15nlt

So to bring in a colorful description... you know all those moldy walls in my bathroom?  That's unforgiveness. If I leave it there it will continue to grow and corrupt perfectly good walls.  But if I forgive?  It is compared to removing all those moldy, crumbling walls.

If I forgive my parents I no longer have things that could ruin our relationship.  We could start as though there was no mold.  Because it will be gone.  Just as Jesus removed my sin and healed our relationship, the issues that were between me and my parents will be gone... and we can have a new relationship.

And heck, I shouldn't stop there!  I should be applying this to any relationship.

But first things first.

Gotta fix the bathroom. ;)


UMM... YUCK.  RIGHT???

Change. To say the least.

Things have changed here.  I'm living with new feelings and have new issues to deal with.

What happens when we face such things like that?  What happens when our world turns upside down and those you thought you could trust become the very ones you have to protect yourself from?

Do we close ourselves off? Do we shut down and push people away?  I've got things like that I've been thinking about.  And I'm sure those who think they are helping with their opinion don't realize the mess they are actually making is worse than if they had just let me deal with these new issues on my own.

I'm just realizing how the things I thought would happen are not going to.  I thought I'd still be at the same church, I thought I'd be neck deep in a ministry.  I thought I'd have another book in the midst.  Instead, everything has changed.  I've had to leave my church home of 14 years and move out of the area my son has grown up in, back to my old stomping grounds.  I cringe thinking about where I am, but what I've realized with this change brings a newness.  I can actually start over.  Maybe right now I'm going to have to stay put, but there's this desire in me to chase a dream I've wanted to live out since I was a teenager...

So when things turn upside down I suggest to look closely, because you will be seeing things from a new point of view.  Things that you thought worked for you, you'll see they were more for comfort than necessity.  I don't suggest staying somewhere just because you don't want to move on.  Because God has plain as day removed me from the things I knew were only in my life for comfort.  Why?  Is God cruel?  No.  It's the same idea as not letting a 14 year old hold on to a safety blanket from when he was a baby, this child needs to learn how to become an adult.  They need to learn to stand up and be who they were meant to be.  And sometimes if the "bird" insists on staying in a nest instead of flying the "momma bird" will take it on herself to push that baby out of the nest.

Today I feel like I've been pushed out of the nest.  And now I have no choice but to fly.  So with a new year already in motion.. and an open opportunity to do whatever I want to do I'm going to start from scratch.  I'm going to do the things I've put off and change the things I should have in the past.

It's not a bucket list.. no it's more like the list from "My name is Earl".  He wrote a list of the things he needed to make up for, to make the wrongs he did right.  Maybe I wasn't a horrible person, but I have a list of things I wished I could have made right.  And first on my list?  My parents.  I live in their basement apartment and it's in need of attention, majorly.  At the moment the bathroom has my attention.  Last night I tore up the floor (that had ginormous holes in it) and today my plan is to fix that.

Wish me luck people... this year has lots of things to make up for, and they aren't going to be easy!

Before...